Business Cleavage

You live long enough on this earth, and you can’t help but compare the differences between boys and girls. Every day at work, I’m reminded of these differences. Chief among them the addition of business cleavage. Now, I wish I had a cellphone that could take pictures b/c I’d take some shots to illustrate my point. But I’ve noticed that something’s been happening lately.

New York has always been a little more relaxed in terms of what people wear to work. But lately, I feel like I’m on Melrose Place. (Somebody help me with my tv references, what is some sort of show that takes place in an office but people wear racy outfits? Saying I feel like I’m on Boston Legal doesn’t seem right to me.]

I’m seeing belly buttons. I’m seeing short skirts. They might not be mini-skirts. But they are definitely creeping up. But more importantly, there’s been cleavage. And I’m not complaining. I just find it interesting. Because where does it become too much?

I think we can all agree that nobody buttons all the way up. And one button is pretty staid. Two buttons—that’s standard. But when you get to three, that’s where things get interesting. Just for comparison, I want you to do this right now. At your desk, or wherever you are. Button all the way up. And then come down button by button. When do you start to feel ‘dirty’? Or self-conscious if that word works better for you?

I think it’s that fourth button. Three buttons says, I’ve got it, and I’m showing it. But four buttons. That says, “Happy hour, at Bennigan’s. Margaritas. Be there.” And then it further says, “Screw that. Let’s sneak out at 3 o’clock. Meet me at the service elevator.”

This is my scientific opinion.