How Bloopers Went Downhill: DVD Extras

I used to complain about dvds that had lame special features sections. And by that I mean, they had no special features. In the beginning, lots of dvds had just the movie with Spanish or French subtitles. And that was about the extent you got. So it made you appreciate the wonderful director’s commentary in The Usual Suspects. Or in Spinal Tap where it’s really a second movie. Or in American Movie where those dudes don’t realize how that movie makes them look. They don’t seem to care. And it makes it such a wonderful commentary.

But today, you’d be hard pressed to find a movie released on dvd, that didn’t have special features. (Oh, sidenote: the worst special feature ever was the photos and cast bio. Such a lame, afterthought kind of special feature. If you’re watching a movie, the features should be moving too. Scrolling text is bush league.) But here’s the problem: THEY’RE LAME.

I know how this works. They have a special crew assigned to those featurettes they make. I did a PBS mini-series and there would be these dudes going around interviewing people for it. And it’s never anything juicy. If I were making one, that’s what I’d focus on. I mean, that’s what they should do. Have an independent third party do the featurerette’s. And really put some time into the thing. So it’s interesting to watch.

But I just watched Red Eye and for some reason, I tortured myself into watching the extra features. And they were lame as expected. But the worst was, they had a bloopers reel. And for the second half of the reel, you couldn’t even tell what was going on. You didn’t know what the mistake was. And they would just move on to the next clip as if it was so painfully(and hilariously) embarrassing.

I know that in person, those f*ck-ups are funny. But they have to be REALLY funny for it to be funny later on. When I’m watching this in my pajamas on my couch with my cats. We are very critical, Bert, Jake, and I. We do not just laugh at anything. Here’s an idea for next time: WHO’S HOOKING UP IN THE CAST?

This idea was Bert’s. He cares about things like that.