It has been almost two years since I have bathed myself in that lovely blue glow of digital cable. On Saturday, I am going bathing again! People have asked me(it’s true, people stop me on the street and ask me this stuff)…
PERSON ON STREET: Nate, is this like regular cable or like fancy cable?
And to that I say, FANCY CABLE! Honestly, I don’t understand why people get standard or basic cable. The Shelkey house had basic cable for a number of years. But basic cable essentially just means you get NBC, ABC, CBS, and FOX and they’re not fuzzy, and you get E! At first, there was a huge “gee whiz” factor to just having cable. I don’t know if you’ve lived in an area that didn’t have cable and then all of a sudden it does. But it’s exciting. Those workman come along and plant a little mushroom(a magic mushroom) in your lawn that says CTV in beautiful terse letters proclaiming that yes, the Shelkey’s HAVE ARRIVED. There was a similar proclaimation in our neighbhorhood the day we got POWER WINDOWS in our station wagon.
PERSON ON STREET: Nate, how did you manage to not become a spoiled brat in the face of such decadent luxury?
It wasn’t easy. But I did survive. And after living in the wilderness and self-inflicted hair shirt of non-cable for two years I am back. Plus, I am gettign DVR. That means no more Nate being behind the times when it comes to Lost or 24 not to mention any trashy reality tv show that I feel like being snarky about. I can watch them all!
PERSON ON STREET: Nate, isn’t it true that your Mom has DVR? Isn’t it a little embarrassing that your parents got this before you?
Yes, and yes. It hurts. But you know that builds character. It’s like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow used to say, “Into each life some rain must fall”. But all this will end soon. The Countdown To Cable has begun. THREE DAYS!
Categories
Submit a Comment