Educating Roberto, #3

So finally I got off my lazy butt and went to the pet store to get some materials for the experiment. The pet store that I go to is hilarious. It’s a store I used to make fun of before I had cats. The store is called Whiskers and underneath it says, “Holistic Pet Care”. But it’s actually a pretty cool store and everyone is very nice. Plus, they understand the nature of research that I’m doing. (Sidenote: It’s a little incongruous that you can buy stuff like pig ears at a pet store. That seems wrong, doesn’t it?)

They have quite a few different bits of grass to buy. You can grow it yourself, which I briefly thought about doing but then decided I was too lazy. So I got a little bit of it pre-fab. It’s basically about a 4″ square of grass and it’s 4″ high. Optimum grazing height.

I also went to K-Mart and got a water bottle. To spray Roberto when he’s doing something wrong. I was unprepared before and my couch and dresser were the casualties of war.

I laid the grass out last night. They were supicious of it at first. Who was this invader? But after a couple of hours, they started to chomp on it. The question is will it work? As of this weekend, it ‘Bert still had the jones for clothes as I think he bit a piece out of my friend Mia’s shirt.

People really don’t understand how careful you have to be with your clothes around ‘Bert. It’s like living with a bear. You have to put everything up at a height he can’t reach, at a place he can’t climb or jump to. Right now, the three safe zones in my apartment are the congas, the bathroom, and my closet. And the closet isn’t 100% secure.

But people always forget to close the bathroom door, and that’s their fatal mistake. It’s like that Grizzly Man guy. He basically did the same thing metaphorically. He got too comfortable living with those beasts and thought he was safe. But he totes left the bathroom door opened. And he got chomped.

So next step, is to tempt ‘Bert with a sock covered with bitter apple. And stay nearby with the squirt bottle. My scientist brain was thinking that you have to be sparing with the squirt bottle b/c you don’t want the effect to wear off and it not be irritating anymore. And dare I say it, they begin to like it!