Too Cool For School

I am tired of seeing this type of guy at auditions:

–blue blazer
–blue oxford shirt untucked, unbuttoned at least four buttons
–tie unloosened, hanging around the first buttoned button
–jeans
–Chucks
–And sometimes, if we’re lucky, sunglasses

Maybe I’m just getting old but I hate it. It’s so fratty. It’s so slacker. It’s so lame. This is type of guy who thinks a lampshade on a head at a party is funny. This type of guy also wears the necktie as headpiece. This type of guy also thinks the hard hat with a straw connected to two brew dogs is a sensible and economical purchase. He purchases giant foam fingers. He uses “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my dreams all night” style pick-up lines. He nicknames girls “Nice Eyes”. He believes he is the real Tom Cruise Risky Business character. I am sure he does sing Bob Seger tunes in his tighty whitey’s.

I feel like a mom. Why can’t he wear sensible slacks? Tuck in his shirt. Straighten up. Comb his hair. Does he have to try so hard to achieve a pose of casual indifference? Just be yourself, dude. I don’t care who you are, there’s no need to wear sunglasses indoors. (Bono claims his eyes are sensitive to sunlight and that’s why he always wears sunglasses now. I don’t believe him and I don’t believe you either, Mr. Man.)