Fore!

As unlikely as I thought it would ever be, I’ve taken up golf here in LA. But only in the smallest of ways. Every week, a bunch of us get together and play at the little 9 hole par 3 course. It’s easy. And everyone’s bad so there’s no way to feel like you are a complete imbecile. Which I positive would be easy to do on a full sized golf course. But it’s par 3 so you can only do so badly. And if you get a 7, then you just move on.

But I was thinking about something the other day. The whole “Fore!” thing. It’s fore, right? Not four? Anyway, I can’t be bothered to look it up. But you know when you hit a real shitty shot, you’re supposed to yell it out so people know something’s coming.

It reminds me of something my friend Dave and his friends used to do. If you were sitting around and then you started to make a joke and it started to go badly, you could stop mid-joke and then say, “pass” and people would let you do it and not give you shit about it.

Because otherwise they would be on you like jackals for your lame ass joke or story.

Well, I think we should be allowed to yell Fore(or something similar) when this moment happens in life. Like if you do something stupid you could just yell that and then like no worries, be on your way. And by yelling that it’s like you acknowledge you did something stupid and you forgo the lecture afterwards, or evil looks. You couldn’t do it for like really huge things. It wouldn’t work for example for like raping someone or murdering them. But more for like, you said something mean about someone and it turned out to be the person’s brother that you were talking to. Or say… a really awful pick-up line. (By the way, I think cops and all authority figures enjoy giving lectures. Twice, I’ve been stopped by a cop and asked, “Do you want a ticket or a lecture?” I like my medicine so I took the lecture both times. And as far as lectures go, they were pretty feeble.)
(Also, did you hear about this new possible fine for texting while driving? They’re talking about it being $2750 for getting caught doing it. I love it! Finally, a fine that has some teeth. Of course, this means I should stop texting while driving so I’ll have to think about that.)
Anyway, so if I do this around you sometime. You will know what it means.